| letter meme |
[Sep. 8th, 2008|08:49 am] |
The Letter Meme
Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list ten things you LOVE that begin with that letter. Afterward, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own.</o:p>![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) </o:p> </b></a>blackberrydragn gave me the letter M :3 </o:p> - Mickey Mouse
- Mysterious_mr_glenn
- Music
- Mario Mario
- Movies
- money
- Magical girl theme anime
- My family and friends
- Mocha frappacino
- masturbation
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2008|11:12 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | kitchen table | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Song: Very Good Advice (Disney’s Alice in Wonderland) | ] |
Not getting a good night sleep is pretty annoying, I been sneezing and coughing all night, to make matters worst it was very chilly last night and that probably did not help me get any better. But anyway I spent the time to sort of up-date this here journal with more misadventures and f.u.n times, achievements, or random thought bubbles I can possibly have. I been in a vacation like state for almost a month now, then again, I don’t think me being in my hometown counts as a vacation… but lets just say it is. For the past three and a few days I been just trying to find a new and hopefully final direction. It’s been ruff and full of upset inside myself… but part of me is ready to give up in a lot… I said it before I am weak… and starting to accept it… I went to this church thing with some family members yesterday… 9 hours in church really blows donkey chunks… at church one of my cousins who I been with since her birth told me off… and as much as it hurt… I have been telling myself she is growing… she is no longer that lil girl in her first communion dress…she is now a teenager… which makes me realize that my fear of being alone… will have to be resolved because that’s what will happen eventually… I looked at my grandma… and how alone she is… maybe that’s my fate too. This Sunday is a family gathering to say farewell to one of my cousins who is going to the marines, he is a young father… only at 17-18… and he made the choice to join the marines to help support his now 1 year old daughter and my third niece, Honey. I look at a lot of my younger cousins… and they seem to be doing everything more… responsible then me… more… dependent… successful… and happier. I AM HAPPY they are happy… but I look at them and feel so ashamed of what I am. I use to cry when someone said something nice about me… but now I get angry… This journal already got long… so I’ll cut it short with saying I found a DS… I did try to take it to lost and found… but the clueless blondie did not know what I was talking about… or maybe I really can’t explain or say things correctly… maybe I should stop posting on lj. With all this said. Anyone who reads this have a good day and watch these two movies to get my drama outof your noggin.
The Signal (was okay) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xJgvhxixeg (trailer)
The Hatchet (Extream Gore) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Kq3RIb69Fc ( trailer)
spoiler death scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h_SWEpy0No&feature=related |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2008|05:35 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bedroom | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | grief | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cieling fan | ] |
I really hope they release me from work today. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2008|05:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | under my bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sailor uranus/neptune Theme | ] |
SO i just got word that my AA diploma... from college... is not valid... what a perfect day :D |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2008|12:11 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | downstairs | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | white noise | ] |
Dear mom
You where right in everything you said I was to you and others.
I should have listened to you more…
Ps: NO this aint an edge note… more of a self discovery one. |
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| it needed to be said. |
[May. 5th, 2008|10:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | on my bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indifferent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | http://youtube.com/watch?v=gv7VFLiH5xI | ] |
Someone today asked me why I have not been talking to them as much… and in true honest form I just said what I felt I need to start saying to a lot of people…
I am tired of feeling I am the only one trying to keep a friendship with a lot of folks….
I know I am not the most exciting person… but I try to be a good hearted fellow.
With that said… I know which people I decided to let go… and I know which people I would want to still be considered a friend with. I am sort of ashamed I am beginning to be a very unforgiving person too… but I know inside my I will still care for a lot of them.
In happier news: I watched a movie with the room-mates. Was not my taste in flick… but being able to chill with the four (there really is 5… but one does not live with us) most compatible friends I have… its always nice… I like to say that I found happiness being with them… and we all know how hard happiness was to find years back.
Lots of love to them.
Out. |
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| i think i know my reason... |
[Jan. 16th, 2008|10:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | music |
| | background noise | ] |
So I been thinking stuff yet again… only this time I think I am a little closer to my… research about myself… and my reasons why I live as a broken marionette. Everything I do with my life… is to try and make people happy… loved ones smile… and to get … the feeling I am doing something right…
But everything I do… everything I done… it seems its never enough… it seems its never noticed… it seems like its not worth a shit to anyone. I made a lot of people unhappy growing up… and I some how continue that path… but I am to “naïve” I guess to notice what I do.
In all honesty I don’t try to make people angry… I don’t try to make them upset… but I somehow ALWAYS fail… and I truly hate myself for causing so much pain. Which leads me to this depression, to this hate, and this unhappy state in mind.
I aint eating, I am not drawing… not designing… I am not talking with people online nor at home as much… when I try… I worry I am doing something wrong. I cant sleep… when I do I wake up… nightmares… at my age… I aint even keeping my appearance… I look like shit in all honesty…
But I think I know why this happens… and that’s because I feel… and I mean this… I feel I need to be punished… I feel I deserve this pain… I feel that when I get my heart torn from out of me… that its only because I deserve … I mean… I been abused growing up… so that had to be because I don’t a lot of bad right… |
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| WATCH this MOVIE |
[Nov. 23rd, 2007|11:53 pm] |
ENCHANTED
This movie is my TOP favorite movie this year, it was just crammed with wonderful heart warming scenes… and packed with a lot of cuteness. Giselle is such an awesome character; she easily topped my favorite Disney princess… the music was just fun and good to hum around with, and it’s a wonderful movie to see over and over again. I CANT wait for this to come out in DVD.
If there was one bad thing to say… (other then the cockroaches) it was probably that as much joy and happy it brought me… it did at times made me upset for lacking “LOVE” as in, someone for me. Being the mate-less member in an almost all mated group… kinda does not help… and even being in a house where teasing happens a lot… its hard craps hehe
But other then that, the movie is wonderful, delightful, and a MUST see. Disney has surely shown me that dreams STILL can come true. And maybe there is something out there… just sadly… does not seem to ever reach.
Go watch the Movie. |
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| tonight was nice |
[Nov. 10th, 2007|08:11 pm] |
So I go out on my own tonight. Really nice evening… and decide to go to Nordstrom’s Rack, crowded store, but OH how is has so many things I want… once I start working I will be planning to buy one luxury item for myself. I even helped a teenage girl pick a completely different pair of shoes that looked better on her… she even thanked me when I walked out of the store.
Soon after, I go to barns & nobles and look at the books on sale and catch up on some fashion readings in Vogue, W, and Elle. Spring fashions… will look like a rainbow vomited all over ya… and after that I went to buy poster board from Micheal’s.
Other then that… my emotions at the moment are in a juggle… it’s like I am PMS-ing :P
• I am Sexually Frustrated
• Home Sick
• Feel very Lonely
But other then that… it was a good day. |
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| Which Route... |
[Oct. 19th, 2007|02:58 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bedroom | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | meh ok | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sunny Sunshiny Happy | ] |
So after receiving some advice from my best friend… I find out that the two things that I am searching for… cant happen together. I have to choose one and go threw its obstacles and routes before I can switch and continue with the other. LOVE and CAREER, any of these two paths would make me happy…
Choosing Career means to be focus in it… and continue with my dream to become a fashion designer… being a fashion designer means moving around… going places… AND having a mate at this early time would really work an issue for he/she would have to either tag along with me… but if they cant… then that’s a horrible issue. Yeah there is a possibility I can meet someone once I am established and working… but part of me really just misses holding someone’s hand… hugging… all that jazz.
Choosing Mate… means I will probably put all my hopes and dreams aside… part of me is really desperate and would really just want to find someone for myself so I can experience some thing that would make me very happy. Of course with that said… my career chances will be cut in half… or maybe even forever. Having a mate requires supporting each other and being their for one and other… but again… I just want to be held… I am a hopeless romantic I know…
I was lucky to have two mates during school life… one was short… and one was for 4-5 years… and ended in a sour note. I had three other chances with three other possibilities… but each had a reason they did not like of me… and hence… it did not work out, And recently this year… I had one crush… and one “I AM IN LOVE” adventure… of course… both will not work… and hence I am still alone. And in all honestly… seeing people cuddle… hold hands… kiss… play… sort of makes me feel so alone XD.
AS far as my Career choice is heading… I was thinking of investing in a professional dress form to practice draping and to also produce a small collection to then compete in fashion designer events. I will also be getting to refresh my sewing IQ once I sit with my roommate and try teaching him what I know so he can start making plushies in the future. But also I been hoping to get a solid job someplace to save up and hopefully have some investment before I turn 23 in early 2009… just the thought of me being 23 bothers me XD.
So yeah. I cant sleep… and I think its either I am getting sick… depressed… or just worried about how I will play my life… things are still new to me. |
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| For curtain I cannot love myself |
[Sep. 9th, 2007|11:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Temporary bedroom | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | lost | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Avril Lavigne - Nobodies Home | ] |
Currently my life is in a stand still, my job search is not seeming to come to an end…my design life is in a complete SHUT OFF mode… even with Fashion Week 2008 happening as I speak. Love life is completely heart aching… and I been feeling a bizarre yet surprising amount of home sickness.
I returned to my “new” home a week from now; Went back to my hometown which always made me nervous. But this time was different… a lot different. It was a wonderful time to be truthfully honest. Lots of nice things happened… I spent time with my father in a good way… my mother and I did not fight at all… and I got to get to know he new boyfriend… a wedding was the main event, and spending time with my god family after a 7 – 8 month of not seeing any of them…
Seeing my god cousin walk down in her white dress… so hard to believe that the girl I grew up with was going to be a wife. Seeing my god sisters in short as hell dresses in the reception… looking very grown up… made me feel like I missed so much when I was away. (Anything with the word GOD means it’s my Nina and Nino’s Family) Seeing my sister and brother play piano and guitar… made me feel I wont see them grow… and seeing my mom happy with her new bf makes me so happy… yet I miss her so much. And I miss all my cousins… those who know me… know my cousins mean the world to me.
Don’t get me wrong, I love where I am at, I am happy to be with my best friend and company, happy to have the feeling of actually learning to live… more self efficiently on my own… and it’s a more relaxed atmosphere .I don’t regret making the choice to start a new life away from home. And sometimes I do feel I anger my housemates or that I just bother them when they see me… but it’s just me being silly I guess… OR… I’m just a little heart broken and stress about the reality of not being there and knowing what’s going on with the family and junk. I know I just need to cope with it and… It’ll pass me someday.
My Job life has been getting very stressing…. Its coming to point I am getting tired of just being home all day… I want a job to help out with rent and house supplies…but for some reason I have not even been getting the call’s the managers told me they’ll make. Looking at my job list… I applied at 23 places… not including the MULTIPLE times I applied like at Jo-annes and Nordstrom’s. I ALREADY had to accept my unsuccessful attempt in getting a designer job… AND so… I am beginning to think I will be a burden on my new home…
And love life… to make it short… HOW does one stop crushing (being in love) with someone…I’M not going out with anyone… but I do love someone… and realistically… I am hurting myself by doing so. I am strongly thinking I may never find a partner…it sucks… for I would love to be with someone… would love to have someone for myself and everything… but again…it looks like a daydream when I really think about it… part of me just wants to be touched… held… you know…all that couple shit…
But anyway… better end this now before it gets VERY long and boring. To anyone who reads this… I apologize for the dramatic journal |
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| 100 lalala's |
[Aug. 22nd, 2007|01:21 am] |
1. How old will you be in five years?
sigh… 26 years old
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
Wolfie, watched some odd American made anime
3. How tall are you?
5'5''
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
Disneyland
5. What's the last movie you saw?
Bill & Teds Excellent Adventure
6. Who was the last person you called?
My Mom
7. Who was the last person to call you?
My Mom
8. What was the last text message you received?
Seth - giving me the house number
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
my cousin
10. Do you prefer to call or text?
Skype is cool, but I usually use cell phone
11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
watching a double feature
12. Are your parents married/divorced?
Been Divorced for 12 years now
13. When did you last see your mom?
two weeks ago
14. What color are your eyes?
Brown
15. What time did you wake up today?
11ish
16. What are you wearing right now?
skull underwear. White waist line, black, with white skulls. ~ thanks ruffy for them.
17. What is your favorite Christmas song?
I don’t like xmas songs.
18. Where is your favorite place to be?
would be in someone’s arms… but DISNEYland is number one
19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
in a place where I am alone
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
New York
21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
Who Knows
22. Do you tan or burn?
Neither
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
honestly… I don’t think I feared anything would get me…
24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?
Seth saying , “I’m Wishing” in a snow white sounding voice
25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
just three. Living room, game room, and master bedroom
26. How big is your bed?
I don’t got one X___X does a couch count
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Laptop
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
NUDE.
29. What color are your sheets?
I don’t got any… but they’ll be black when I buy some
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
1
31. What is your favorite season?
Fall – Winter… nice weather… I die in strong heat
33. What do you like about winter?
the coats, I love coats
34. What do you like about the summer?
going to Disneyland
35. What do you like about spring?
hmmm not sure… I guess flowers.
36. How many states/provinces have you lived in?
1
37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
Hollister, San Francisco, Fresno.
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Boots
39. Are you a social person?
I could be, I like to talk
40. What was the last thing you ate?
Blade’s experimental dish
41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Always been Taco Bell… but sadly got replaced with Del Taco… COME ON… 50 CENT TACO’S… yummy.
42. What is your favorite ice cream?
Dulce de Leche and Cherry Garcia
43. What is your favorite dessert?
Flan
44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Broccoli and cream
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
I don’t really like Jelly
46. Do you like Chinese food?
very much DO
47. Do you liek coffee?
I FUCKING LOVE coffee… addicted to Starbucks… and the new BLUEBERRY FRAP
48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
I am going to die.. I don’t drink much water
49. What do you drink in the morning?
sometimes milk… if not… juice
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
ummm on my side… on the couch
52. Do you know how to play poker?
TK taught me how to play… I kinda forgot.
53. Do you like to cuddle?
OH FUCKING YES… but I need someone to cuddle with T___T
54. Have you ever been to Canada?
don’t plan to
55. Do you have an addictive personality?
what?
56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Out… but I want to change that
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
nope…
59. Do you want kids?
I honestly would some day… always wanted four
60. Do you speak any other languages?
Spanish… but I sadly have an accent
61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
yes… twice
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
twice
63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
Ocean… but it has to be nice weather
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
I don’t really care… but I’ll choose window to lay against when I nap
65. Do you know how to drive stick?
kinda
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Clothing
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
Recently a shark tooth necklace
68. What is your favorite TV show?
Girls Next Door, E! News, and Project Runway
69. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes
70. Who is the funniest person you know?
my Cousins
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
No… I’m not that furry
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
Super Mario
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
No… dad destroyed them all
74. What red object is closest to you right now?
the H&M logo tag on my Undies
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
Yes
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Depends if I close them or leave them open
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
Bear! For I like them…
78. Do you flirt a lot?
ewww no… I think I should if I want to find a special someone
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
nothing really
80. What is your favorite food?
Wolfblades Shepard Pie
81. Can you change the oil on a car?
LOL no
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yes… did not make a complete stop
83. Have you ever run out of gas?
No
84. What is your usual bedtime?
whenever… but when I get a job… it’ll change
85. What was the last book you read?
Vouge, yes I know… that’s not a book
86. Do you read the newspaper?
No
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
no… but I want to get Vouge and W
89. Do you watch soap operas?
no… but my mom used to… so I at times sat with her
90. Do you dance in the car?
NO… but I blast my music
91. What radio station did you last listen to?
102.5 Kadon
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?
not in a picture frame, but a shot of my old room decor
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
”Apply Here” WITH AN arrow pointing at a number with an address.
94. What is your favorite candle scent?
Vanilla
95. What is your favorite board game?
Life… I use to cheat to try and get Twins XD
97. When was the last time you attended church?
.............shit…. years and years and years ago…
98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
I had so many… my favorite being lindie. My fashion teacher
99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
none…. I want to camp out someday
100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you?
Jery. Making me feel complete in the… having someone to hug section. |
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| Kuma... |
[May. 16th, 2007|12:45 am] |
I got a long drive tomorrow.
But for some reason I can’t find it in me to fall asleep. I spent most of my day trying to find my dog Kuma. He has been staying at an aunts place and sadly he was startled off by something—making him run out of the property. My family kept it to themselves, until one cousin told me the news. I went everywhere and asked people if they seen my small pet.
It hurts me inside for my family say I abandoned him… for I been gone for more then a month. They say I did not care for him… or took care of him… when in reality I always thought of him… and looked at a picture of him. Kuma was the only thing I can show and give love too. And now that he is gone… it feels like I have no one.
I blame myself… I could have been a better owner…
I am very emotional- and wherever kuma is… I hope he is okay. And hopefully he’ll find home again.
Other things have also been bothering me these past two weeks. But I don’t feel like those mater anything compared to kuma. |
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| Hello to my journal again. |
[Feb. 20th, 2007|03:45 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | downstairs | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | someone listening to Anime uptairs. | ] |
Here I am, up-loading a kinda pointless journal on my LJ. Nothing really important– but helps gets stuff out of my chest.
You know… I been having a swell time lately… even when I been having a bunch of misfortunate things happen to me for the past week and a half. I got stitches, I got kicked out from home for real's this time, I think I got sick tonight, My computer is Dying, and I had to miss a cruise trip… which I wish I had the ability to have gone. I know that because of my condition I would not have gotten to go, but when family brags on HOW GREAT it is… that really can make a guy frown.
Today alone I woke up at 2:40am with a tight sore on my knee where I have my stitches, I am guessing I slept on my knee wrong or something… I slept on this odd angle with a big warm pillow over me. The pain slightly went away and later today I may get the stitches removed. I am worried that it might hurt when they come off 0__0’’ BUT Once they are removed I will hope for a fast recovery to drive back home… lets just hope I wont crash.
I know I mentioned I lost my home… but I am going to try and talk with my mom. I have been calling her, but she has been hangin up on me so it’s pretty hard to think things are… okay. I been stressing in trying to find a new place to call home for I need out… but so far… I got 14 folks saying… “sorry… cant help you” ~ those who know me might understand how my home life is… it’s no Cinderella story… well maybe it is… but without the YAY parts. They might ask why I will go back home if I get the chance… I guess I want to make peace with my mom and family if I really do need to go or something… I don't know.
I also been worried about my computer, not only is it one of my pleasures in life, it is a portfolio of my digital arts and fashion portfolio. I think its starting to fritz out on me… last night… every time I turned it on… IT LOADS… and then shuts down…. It did it four times… BUT also my Hello CHAT is not working… and NOW my Microsoft Word fails in opening up. Its sort of depressing… especially when earlier this month my cousin broke the screen… but I managed to fix that not to long ago.
That alone I cant seem to fall back to asleep, seems the nice warm fire that kept me warm went out… the sound of rain drops outside don't relax me… and a polar bear plush next to me just stares with its cute blank expression. This bear is just an interesting character… has been a positive item this week, and very nice to have around. His name is unique, and translates to HOPE in some other language. Call it childish… but I like to believe this “toy” could be a good positive sign for me atm. I never did hold much liking to a plush before either… so like his name, I am keeping HOPE inside me …. And hoping I may heal, find a home, and get well…
it’s now 3:57am… I should fall asleep any minute… good Night/Morning to anyone who even bothers to read this.
PS: I am not a movie kinda of guy for I hate the thought I don't have anyone to watch them with back at home and stuff… but recently got to see a lot of them with my best friends as I healed. “SAVED” I will like to say that—that movie is sweet and awesome, funny and has a major message about a lot of things. It’s enjoyable too. |
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| that one holiday |
[Feb. 14th, 2007|01:34 am] |
VDAY
I would like to start this LJ to wish those couples a happy love day
Personally
This holiday sucks
………………………………….
Can it be bitterness…
Can it be jealousy….
Can it be anger….
No
……………
It’s just
…EH… |
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| Welcome to level 21 |
[Jan. 4th, 2007|04:58 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | On my Bed. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Wind it Up - Gwen | ] |
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21
Another 12 months has passed, and now I am a year older. 21, I cant believe it. I been lucky to make it this far and I am hoping this year will be better then last. I want to say I am thankful to still have my best friends for almost four years and going strong. I am hoping to finally get a push in the fashion industry as a designer or illustrator. And I wish for this year to just go in a brighter path an have less hardships. |
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| DEATHNOTE |
[Oct. 7th, 2006|07:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | alright | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Deathnote Intro | ] |
THIS month has been sucking :)
ANYWAY this makes me happy, DEATHNOTE... the ANIME... and even though i stopped reading after chapter 58 i want to see the anime, it looks great and in style of the manga which is a big YAY. for those who have not seen this manga, it's pretty depressing but neat storyline, and i really like the character with the black hair <3.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGyy7V1smWE&mode=related&search= |
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| pull the trigger |
[Jul. 13th, 2006|11:36 am] |
Those who know me personally will probably understand what I go threw when I talk about “my life” and there are those who don’t know me and think I over exaggerate and make up my dramas…. Think whatever at this point I guess.
This is probably going to sound all EMO… and DOOM… and if that’s not your nesh I recommend not to read passing THIS.
This year alone started rather bad, and the depression I have for years because a number of events that sadly still haunt me inside… sure I can get away from the causes…. But the scars don’t heal… and the tears wont stop. I been to a number of shrinks… and all failed… and not because I don’t like them… and that’s another story for another time.
I would love to know what I do wrong… what am I doing to fuck myself up. I gotten so many people I love and care for at one point telling me I am this and that… and that I hurt them and make them angry… the worse part is loosing them… how I lost so many. I see myself doing a lot of good… I see myself offering help and a hand… I see myself loving them for them and nothing else…. And yet they see me as a failure… and its maybe true…
I get negative feedback from a lot…. And sadly I begin to believe I am the person they say I am… it seems I can no longer believe what I thought I was because SO many that I loved…. I made un happy.
I had this illustration that i yet to scan... the title of this journal will soon be understood when i get the pic up-loaded.
SO maybe I should quit loving people… quit wanting to help… and stay away from people…. I use to say it’s better being alone… because no one can hurt you…. Could that be my path to continue life…. I don’t understand what I should do anymore… sigh… I don’t know what else to say |
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| bored... |
[Jun. 3rd, 2006|12:09 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | in my bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fushigi Yuugi - I wish | ] |
Marital Status] Bored as Fuck….
[Shoe size] I think 8...
[Parents still together] divorced… since I was 9
[Siblings] Half Brother and Sister
[Pets] Kuma, my woofie lump who thinks he is a ferret
FAVORITES
[Color] browns, moss, vermillion, blue, and black
[Number] ummm 0
[Animal] bears, wolves, and dogs
[Drinks] Vanilla Bean and Mint Mocah
[Soda] Pepsi
[Book] I don’t read… sadly
[Flower] I like flowers, but I must say I like the Orchid
DO YOU
[Color your hair?] no
[Twirl your hair?] hell no
[Have tattoos?] thinking of getting one
[Have Piercings?] no
[Cheat on tests/homework?] hmmmm maybe
[Drink/Smoke?] Fuck no… I am clean J
[Like roller coasters?] there ok… I am not so… OMG LETS GO ON AGAIN!!
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] Disneyland… or in a City
[Want more piercings?] No
[Like cleaning?] I clean everyday… it sucks… but a must
[Write in cursive or print?] print… to lazy to fancy write
[Own a web cam?] Yeah… somewhere in my room
[Know how to drive?] yah… and finally can drive some freeway after a friend shown me how.
[Own a cell phone?] got one… and no one calls me ;___:
[Ever get off the damn computer?] yeah I do… but because I don’t got anything to go to… I come back
HAVE U EVER
[Been in a fist fight?] plenty of times
[Considered a life of crime?] maybe…
[Considered being a hooker?] NO…
[Been in love?] many times… stupid love :P
[Made out with JUST a friend?] no
[Been in lust?] what guy hasn’t
[Used someone] never
[Been used?] yeah….
[Been cheated on?] … She knows…
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] that’s silly.. And No
[Stolen anything?] ummm … yeah…
[Held a gun] no
CURRENTS
[Current clothing] in bed… so nothing
[Current mood] Deppressed
[Current taste] Anger
[What you currently smell like] Melted Human
[Current hair] tied back but loose
[Current thing I ought to be doing] fixing my damn tablet
[Current cd in stereo] Madonna - Sorry
[Last book you read] The Walt Disney Story
[Last movie you saw] ummm don’t remember… lets say Doogle
[Last thing you ate] nothing
[Last person you talked to on the phone] someone who never answers :P
[Do drugs?] NO…
[Believe there is life on other planets?] Anne heche does
Remember your first love?] yes I do…
[Still love him/her?] I don’t think I do… but I would like to see her again
[Read the newspaper?] at times
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] yes
[Believe in miracles?] Yes...
[Do well in school?] I am average
[Wear hats] yes, my brit boy cap and a towel when I dry my hair
[Hate yourself?] sadly I do…
[Have an obsession?] probably… cant think of any atm
[Collect anything?] back when I was younger
[Have a best friend?] several. They know who they are
[Close friends?] A few
[Like your handwriting?] I like it
[Care about looks] I like to look clean.
LOVE LIFE
[First crush] Huruna Ojima
[First kiss] In front of the band room
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] one time…
[Do you believe in "the one?"] not no more :P
[Are you a tease?] I don’t know :P
[Too shy to make the first move?] can be shy… but check me out when I’m not
ARE U A
[Daydreamer] everyday
[Bitch/Asshole] I can be one…
[sarcastic] at times
[Angel] I don’t know anymore…
[Devil] I don’t know
[Shy] at times
[Talkative] very… that’s if I know you or feel comfortable with you |
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| AC Adaptor fails me... |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|07:23 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Room... | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | Blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tiki Tiki Tiki Room | ] |
My AC power Adaptor for my laptop has died some reason... so to say my labtop is loosing it's battery power and about to die in just 23% left of battery juice... i need to go buy another, but i dont know where and how much... today i start my journey to look for one... and the longer it takes me get one... the longer it will take for me to come back on... a full half day yesterday with out the comp... XD that sucks...anyway
this is just incase i dont get it fixed... and for all of you to know whats up. |
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